Why do we struggle with routines and how you can make your own
Early on in life, we were disciplined into various routines.
The concept of routine embedded in our systems as children was rather compulsory — we didn’t get to choose our circumstances. Our parents decided on simple habits such as when to wake up and go to bed.
As we grew into adolescence years, our class schedules and period lengths at school were set without our constructive feedback.
Most of us were challenged to follow the “one size fits all” system until adulthood.
We encounter new challenges just when we are prepared to spread our wings and embrace all the novel experiences that come with becoming an independent adult.
This is where we understand that life is indeed a series of choices.
In your 20’s, every choice you make will move you along this graph. Although the circumstances of our origin are beyond our control, we can most definitely use them as a tool to rise to the top 20% of society.
Your mind will come up with reasons not to set up a new routine for yourself if you continue to view it as a challenge.
You are not constrained by routines. You are freed by them.
Between being lost and having control over your life, there is a fine line. You’ll feel in charge of your life if you know what you want out of it and work daily to make it happen.
“How do I find the perfect routine for myself?”
You don’t necessarily “find” it, you create it.
You can test out a variety of routines that famous people and influencers follow, but the question is, are they “ideal” for you?
Start by treating yourself as an individual and define what routine means to you or why you should have any.
Action exercise: Write down your answers to the following questions.
- Given that you consistently invest time and effort in a new habit, what would you like to get better at?
- Weekly analysis: Break the week down into days and days into hourly periods: you can break it down as 3-hour periods, or however long you wish. At the end of each day, write down what you did during those periods. After writing them down, try to understand how doing those activities made you feel: did you feel a sense of accomplishment? Was it a mundane task you had to do to kill time? Then, rate that period out of 10. This step is essential because it allows you to identify the daily activities that make you feel good. If there’s none, don’t worry — we’ll find something for you. Try this exercise at least for 2 weeks. For the visual explanation, check out the example below:
3. What is something that gives me energy as soon as I wake up?
4. What is one habit I used to do as a kid and enjoyed?
5. Am I more productive during the morning, midday, or evening?
After reflecting on yourself more and answering these questions you should be able to:
- identify your likes/dislikes;
- understand which habits you would want to build;
- eliminate unnecessary tasks;
- use your productive and nonproductive hours to your advantage;
“I formed a routine for myself following your steps. What if I fail?”
We may now continue to your other questions, assuming that you have done thorough research, examined your day in detail, and created a realistic yet optimal routine for you.
What I should mention is that none of what you answered is written in stone: you can always adjust your routine as new things emerge, following the same steps you took to build it.
You’ll eventually create a routine that is tailored to you as you test drive new ones.
Consistency, consistency, consistency.
“It can take anywhere from 18 to 254 days for a person to form a new habit and an average of 66 days for a new behavior to become automatic.”
People set new goals for themselves at the beginning of each new year and face far more disappointments simply because of not following through after 3rd week. Why is this the case?
Why do we have such passion for creating goals but none for being consistent with them?
The formation of the question is incorrect.
In the process of pursuing your dreams, you don’t need to be passionate at all. In fact, doing the same tasks every day will bore you.
It won’t be your excitement that will keep you pushing; it will be the mindset you adopted at the beginning.
After following through with your routine for quite some time, it will be nearly impossible to break it. According to the National Institutes of Health (NIH), pleasure-based habits are particularly difficult to break, because enjoyable behavior prompts your brain to release dopamine.
By including enjoyable things in your routine, you must ensure that you genuinely enjoy sticking to them. You should also encourage your friends and family to join you.
I think that everyone’s life has a turning point; you’d be shocked where you end up after going through the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.
When life gives you lemons, juggle them. Enjoy the ride!
Action exercises:
- While formulating your routine, make sure you add at least one activity that you truly enjoy doing.
- Be realistic with how you structure your day. Don’t forget to reflect on each day and each new routine.
- Test your potential routines. You can never know which one is perfect for you without trial and error.
Thank you!
Let me know what you think of this article. PM me for any questions or comments.
